This blog post is a continuation of my previous one. If you have not read it yet, please click here first.
I thank the universe that I am a well-read and experienced psychotherapist and grounded person, and that I could ‘shake this reading off’ without falling into a spiral of not feeling good enough.
I ask: “Why do we allow this endless shaming into our lives?” (And even paying for it!) “Why do we measure our worth based on these prescribed values?” “Why do we follow these shaming psychologies that imply that unless you are a superhuman, superwoman, or a superman you have not tried hard enough?” I ask why!
Sadly, I daily see people in my therapeutic room, who have internalised this brutal ‘motivation by shaming’ and painfully fallen into a belief that they are not good enough because some others ‘do better’.
Everyone is on their individual journey in life, at different places and times, yet we easily fall into endless comparing ourselves with others as if we were supposed to be all the same. Let me remind you - we are not in the same boat! (See my previous blog series).
We are individuals with distinctive idiosyncrasies. Our life experiences always make our journey unique, thus trying to measure up with others will be as successful as measuring yourself up to a banana (even when, as you might know, we share 60% DNA with a banana!).
The knotted tangle of comparing
Let’s try to accept that at this moment in time, you are here, and someone else is somewhere there. And whilst you may be trying to be somewhere else in life (if not even to be someone else), another person might be inspired to be just where you are now (and who you are now).
It saddens me to observe how deeply our society prescribes us how we should be, what we should do, how we should look, how we should present ourselves to others, and what ‘rules and criteria’ permit us to feel good enough about ourselves.
‘Should’ is followed by more ‘shoulds’ (I mean – many, many, many of shoulds!!!), followed by ‘permissions’ to feel good about ourselves ONLY WHEN or IF we subscribe to the ‘the rules’.
I hope this post has given you space for reflection and empowerment to be and feel enough as you are.
Look out for my next post about our subconscious subscribing to 'The Membership to Belonging'.
Please leave me a note in the comments.
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